‘Stop it, or else God will destroy the world. Stop swearing,
stop picking you’re noses, stop wearing odd socks, stop looking at
naked animals, we must make woollen trousers and jackets for all
of Gods animals, we should have done that a long time ago, stop
telling jokes, especially knock- knock jokes, stop using microwaves
on Sunday, its obscene, stop eating with you’re fingers, I mean it,
stop belching, stop farting, stop lying and jumping the lights, bring
back capital punishment and public flogging, stop having sex or
thinking about sex, stop being slovenly, stop drinking all alcoholic
beverages, in fact stop drinking anything except carrot juice.
The date is set. The end of the world is coming. Repent!’

it was taken from a book that i'm reading at the moment called Scepticism inc by someone with the strange name of Bo Fowler.
put it one you're reading list.